I Me Myself

CAUTION: This post is long and can seem irritating at times. This being my 25^th post, I wanted it to be Tara Uncensored. This is an unedited post, so please forgive me if I appear disoriented in places.

This is the way I think. This is the way I am.

A new light is breaking.

Change is continuity, a ceaseless flux. Change is life. Change can be growth. Change is everything.

As the Vedanta says, “Man renews himself every time he links himself with the Divine residing in his heart”. The Divine is you in your purest form. Your soul. Your conscience.

It is there in YOU, deep inside.

To connect with oneself, the divine in us, perhaps, is possible when we fail. Failure is that one thing that triggers change. When a battle is lost. When tears are cried. When a heart is broken. When a dream is shattered.

Failure makes you look up your armory, and understand why you lost the battle. Throw away the ineffective weapons and equip it with the deadliest ones. Then fight another battle and dream another dream.

It is the same with human qualities and emotions. What is not of use, throw it and imbibe those which you feel would help win the mind’s battle the next time around. Those which would help on a long term basis.

Change gives us that important chance to start anew, to refresh our life’s page. Failure is that license to start afresh, leaving everything behind and starting something new.

To live just one life in one life. Naah! That’s just not me.

This Tara I know is new. I don’t know if she’s improved, if she is better than the earlier edition, but she is different for sure.

I have broken some paradigms. Of others. Of myself. The attitude is new. The feel of fresh air. The warmth of a new sun. It’s me but it’s not me. There is a new found vigor, a vibrancy, a gait in the walk, a new smile, a new mind.

An enthusiasm to live, not just breathe.

Understood the worth of some people. The trivialness of many others. The value of relationships. The value of “being there”. The value of being honest to oneself. The value of everything.

Yes, some dreams got shattered. But my most cherished and the important dream is still there, alive and kicking. That is my aim. I have smaller dreams to take me closer to “that” dream. They would lead me there. The place where I want to be.

I have lost my faith in a few things. Started believing more in myself. Writing my own destiny. My own story.

It’s strange what time does to people. In such a short while…..

I liked what I was then. I love what I am now. I don’t know what I’ll be tomorrow.

As Proust says, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes” and as Ralph Blum says, “Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings”,

I am seeing the world through a new pair of eyes and I like what I see. But most importantly, I love the new eyes and the person who is watching.