When I met God

After a heavy breakfast of pongal and chutney and three rounds of coffee, it's time to leave. Aunty offers kungumam (kumkum) to amma and me, and we bid goodbye. The three of us - amma, uncle (amma's director friend) and I walk towards his car. The driver dressed in crisp white opens the door for him. Uncle sits in the front while we both make ourselves comfortable at the back.

"Crescent Avenue poganum pa, Madras Talkies" (We need to go to Crescent Avenue to Madras Talkies) he tells the driver who nods. A familiarity in his nod.

The name sounds sweetly familiar, I think. Madras Talkies.

The drive is quite long, and a very silent one too, for me. Amma and uncle relive their beautiful memories, nostalgia engulfs both as they reminisce about the different plays they staged and the goof-ups made. My contribution to the entire conversation was limited to coughing and sneezing thrice. That was Chennai's gift to me - a running nose.

I watch the proceedings outside. A lady arguing with the auto driver over the fare. A girl selling fresh jasmine flowers. Rows of big showrooms selling silk sarees. The malls. The narrow flyovers. The school girls on their scooties, their hair oiled and neatly plaited and a rose firmly in place. We are waiting at a traffic signal. The man on the bike recognises uncle and grins a very star-struck smile. Uncle smiles back too, and we move on.

I don't know what I am experiencing. It is a mix of various emotions - excitement, happiness, apprehension, nervousness, glee, anxiety, feeling blessed - all of them run across my mind like a trailer to the final film. And to think, I was about to live the most important moments of my life in some time. I rehearsed my answers, lip synced them almost. I try to perfect my smile, not too much teeth, I tell myself.

I had put on the perfect smile, and I look up only to find the magazine seller looking amused, having witnessed all my antics.

The car comes to a halt, "Vandhaachu saar" (We have reached sir) the driver announces as he gets off to open the door for uncle. "Vandhaachu" uncle repeats, as he looks at me, smiles. I smile too.

My heart now beats faster than ever. I can hear it. My hands feel cold, tremble.

There in front of me stands the huge building. "Madras Talkies. 15, Crescent Avenue" the board reads and I read it again and again and yet again. "Those alphabets look so familiar" I murmur and amma gives me a content smile.

We walk through the well manicured gardens, towards the main building. The flowers, the grass, the wind all seem to be smiling, acknowledging our presence. As uncle walks in, the lady at the reception stands up. "Good morning sir. Sir is waiting for you" she greets in her sweet voice. I look at her, she smiles. I smile back.

We walk down the lobby, carefully on the shining marble floor, towards the lift. The lift man stands up and salutes "Vanakkam saar". Uncle slightly tilts his head in acknowledgement.

The second floor.

Uncle leads us through the floor, a long lobby. Posters line the walls, placed in chronological order. I walk, gaping, wide eyed, looking at each mastepiece adorning the wall. We reach the end of the lobby and there is the office. The office. Uncle asks us to sit on the sofa outside while he goes inside the room. The nameplate on the door, black alphabets embossed in gold. The moment stands still. I hold on to the wall, I feel shaky. My eyes swell up and I grin the brightest grin, showing all my teeth.

I walk towards the door. My fingers admire the beauty of the name, as the gold seems to be melting in my hands.

I sit on the beige coloured sofa. Amma is busy flipping through some Tamil magazines. I sit there patiently, as Shah Rukh stares at me from the opposite wall. I send up a prayer, thanking him for this opportunity.

Uncle comes out and says "Vaa" (Come) and both of us walk towards the door. That door with the nameplate.

The moment is here. The moment. I have been waiting for this to happen for years. That moment is about to unfold itself. Bliss.

We enter the room. My heart feels much at peace now. A heavenly atmosphere, like Gods lived there.

He welcomes us with a smile. "Good morning young lady" he says as he stretches his right hand towards me. I like it. I shake hands with him. He almost senses the trembling and gives me a more reassuring, long smile. I touch divinity, a purity that rarely exists, an honesty that is precious. In those eyes, resides a clean simple soul, such clarity, such brightness that it blinds you.

"You are..." he looks at me questioningly. I remain dumb, unable to speak, my throat is dry. I am still floating in the crystal waters of divinity. Amma completes the sentence.

"Nice name" he says as I continue to soak in his aura. Those rehearsed answers, that perfected smile, now forgotten.

"Have we met before?" he asks, almost certain in his tone. We have. I know we have. I wanted to say, but couldn't. He just smiled.

I walked up to him and touched his feet. An electric shock passed through me. That moment has arrived. That moment I felt so small, so blessed, so loved, so beautiful. I touched God in his purest form. Bliss. Nirvana.

The moment stood still...

Somewhere in the distance, I could hear the title track of Dil Se. Rahman sir's soulful voice added more magic to the moment.

That moment of my life.










I realized the earphone was still plugged into my ears...Dil se re...Dil se re... I woke up and checked the time.

04:39

I smiled. And went back to sleep.

They say, early morning dreams come true. Don't they?

PS - This post marks my 50th post on this blog. I had planned another post to mark this occasion, but that seems to be taking longer than planned. This one is completely unplanned, unedited and unwritten on paper. The other post should be releasing soon. :D

The last few days have been...let me say...too much happened too soon. Now, things seem to settling down, touch wood. But God has his own ways of putting things in place, and I know he is very good at his job. Also, he knows exactly how to cheer one up. In the morning, we discovered a brown and white bundle of joy, a cute little puppy, may be around 6 weeks old! Awww...he is so adorable! : )

I would also like to thank you for the support, the appreciation and the suggestions and I hope you will continue your valuable patronage. Too formal na! Anyway, a big thank you! ; )